I intended to exclusively breast feed my baby. However, breasts that refused to fully comply and a failure to thrive diagnosis had other plans. I was devastated.
I can’t really describe what kept me from using formula, even when I knew I should. All I ever heard was that “breast is best” and that even one formula bottle could harm my child. Feeding formula also meant letting go of my plans and my ideals.
I was worried about what formula might do to my baby. It’s rumored to influence everything from SIDS to asthma to allergies and low IQ. How could I do that? I just couldn’t come to terms with it all.
I’m very thankful I reached out for a phone consultation even though I was so scared to. How could I admit to someone that I was purposefully failing to act on behalf of my child? I spent most of the time crying and venting my anger and disappointment over what was being taken from me. Lauren was calm and quiet. She listened. She helped me sort out the science behind all of my irrational formula fears. She helped me understand what was happening to my baby’s body and what I needed to do to make it better. She was understanding and non-judgmental. By the end of the conversation I was actually chuckling.
By the end of that week I was bonding with my baby for the first time since she had been born. I formula fed her using skin to skin, I snuggled her close as she ate – we lost nothing. Instead we gained everything.
My baby is fine now. More than fine! She is meeting all of her milestones and loves me as much as I love her. However, my feelings back then were real and they had the potential to harm my daughter. I recognize that and am so glad that I mustered up the courage to speak to Lauren. If you are in a similar situation, please reach out. You don’t need to be afraid.